Below is a job advert from the Australian Government Job Network....
ASSET MANAGEMENT TRAINEESHIPS
New Traineeship
Description
3 X Traineeships- Asset Management (Waste Management) *12 months full-time traineeship *Suit school leavers *Earn on the job while you gain an accredited qualification - Certificate II in Asset Maintenance (Waste Management) Hume City Council is seeking to employ 3 Waste Management trainees based at the Council Depot in Coolaroo. In this role you will be trained in the following duties: *Driving and operating waste collection vehicles *Disposal of waste *Working within Occupational Health & Safety Guidelines If you are looking for a career start and the opportunity to earn a qualification wed like to hear from you. You will need to demonstrate- *Good numeracy and literacy skills *The ability to work with people from a diverse range of backgrounds *Willingness to learn and follow instructions *Must have a current drivers licence and be eligible for Heavy Vehicle licence **TO APPLY: Please email your resume to jennifer.ebdon-hope@megt.com.au or fax 9879 5570, Att: Jennifer EH.**
Details
Location: VIC - COOLAROO
Salary: AWARD
Work type: Full time position, 35 hours or more per week
Tenancy: Permanent, 6+ months
Hours: 38HPW
Number of positions: 3
Preferred licences: Car
Source: Employment service providers
Job ID: 198305581
Last modified: 05 June 2009
Options: Traineeship, Job Network card preferred
How to apply
To apply, please email JENNIFER EBDON-HOPE at MEGT;Ringwood at jennifer.ebdon-hope@megt.com.au.
Job seekers who have a Job Network Card are encouraged to apply.
Here follows the version after parsed threw Orwellian Management Speech dictionary...
*12 months full-time traineeship
(We can pay you crap money for up to 12 months!)
*Suit school leavers
(We are hoping for someone so incredibly stupid that they havent worked out this is a job for a Garbo!)
*Earn on the job while you gain an accredited qualification - Certificate II in Asset Maintenance (Waste Management)
(Yes, most of the CEO's of the fortune 500 have a Cert II in Asset Management(waste management)
Hume City Council is seeking to employ 3 Waste Management trainees based at the Council Depot in Coolaroo.
(Trainees! You might think emptying a bin is easy, but it can take years of committment grasshopper!)
In this role you will be trained in the following duties: *Driving and operating waste collection vehicles *Disposal of waste *Working within Occupational Health & Safety Guidelines
(In case you havent worked it out yet, you are going to be a Garbo!)
If you are looking for a career start and the opportunity to earn a qualification wed like to hear from you.
(Yes, a career as a Garbo!)
You will need to demonstrate- *Good numeracy and literacy skills
(Why?)
*The ability to work with people from a diverse range of backgrounds
(You will be working with Wogs mostly, who cant speak a word of English)
*Willingness to learn and follow instructions
(We will treat you like the Flee Ridden Scurvy Dog that you are!)
*Must have a current drivers licence and be eligible for Heavy Vehicle licence
(One day, instead of running along-side the truck, you will be driving it, and wont that be sweet!)
